Fairytale
by Lia Tsuka
Summary: ...I know that my life was better with him in it and this is what separates me from them. I know what's out there and...I can't...I can't go back. I won't... HPDM Slash. Don't like? Don't read.
1. Prologue: Once upon a time

Konnichiwa

Deep flourishing bow...upwards quirk of the lips...breathe in...and..

This story has been writing itself furiously in my head for as long as I have been reading HP/DM slash and I have finally found my penguin muse, who gave my head the much needed bashing against the keyboard to get the story out.

It will follow the basic plots of ALL books (Including the sixth) but I have twisted them to form a darker and more corrupt storyline adding and excluding parts to fit my story, so don't be surprised if certain scenes are different or have been completely missed out, so look out for surprising allies and enemies. There will, however, be no character bashing, if there is any it is not intentional. I have also included a second storyline created by me and ApocalypseGenesis that, though is an original work with no relation to any topic on Fanfiction, is being included to gauge the reaction of _you _the audience. It is kind of AU but not in the same sense as other AU fics...it's...different. Confused yet?

Never mind. Never mind. All will be explained in due time. For now I will say no more than this: Everything you thought you know about Harry Potter, every single little thing that is embedded in your brain on this subject, is about to be blown to metaphorical pieces.

One little thing : My time line differs sightly from the book so please don't be too confused

**Warning: This fic contains, Sexual, physical and mental abuse, addictions of various kinds, slight schizophrenia and consensual sex, of the boy/boy, girl/boy and girl/girl kind. If you are not comfortable with this DO NOT read. **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or affiliated merchandise of any kind. I do own The Arras chronicles, whose plot line and characters will be used in this story including the fictional band Bonnou and all their songs (written by me). Arras chronicles also owned by ApocalypseGenesis. This will be the only disclaimer and applies to all chapters.

There will be 5 characters that belong to various friends and upon their appearance will be noted in the AN.

Arras chronicles © 2007 Scott, Santiago and Perez

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**Prologue: Once upon a time**

_Once upon a time_

Cars weave through streets, back...back...

_At the very beginning of our story_

Crowds milling home. Bed calling at the break of dawn,

_In a land Far Far away,_

BOOM. Bombs, crash, exploding in a frenzy of death and chaos.

Missiles fired. Bloodshed. Follow the blind leader.

_There was a fearful dragon_

Death. Rebirth. Socialism replaced by aristocracy. Judgement has been reversed.

_Who lived high on a mountain,_

Dawn fades, humans eclipsed by icy night.

_In a dark and dangerous cave,_

Dinosaurs roam. Comets pass overhead leaving fiery trails.

_The villagers feared the dragon, and knew not what to do,_

Shattering eruptions. Deafening. Heat spilling inwards.

_Until a young stranger came to town and for their servitude, would slay the dragon,_

Earth shrinking. A dust ball in a diminishing black cloak

_After a terrible battle the dragon was slain and the man hailed as a hero,_

And in the darkness of time, there was silence.

_Small dragons cry out for their mother._

And now our story truly begins.

In the very beginning there was Matter, swirling, drifting, the flotsam in the vast expanse of Nothingness. Where Stars and galaxies had yet to be born, the Matter and Nothingness were sentient and it was here there resided the Ancient Ones. Entwined and separate they and their children grew drawing power from the Nothing and using Matter to create toys for their own amusement. Stars twinkled into being and Galaxies swirled from the hands of The Children, while the Ancient Ones watched the Nothingness dwindle until it became a shadow of it's greater glory whereupon Matter also began to die. It was then The Ancient Tiamat, mother of all, stopped the last of the these sentient energies from being used. The Children protested and clamoured but Mother stood firm.

**There must be balance. Life is born from Death and Death is born from life, a truth that is present even in Matter and Nothingness. One can not exist without the other. It is the way of all things my Children.**

The Children, young as they were, fumed silently as they retreated but none more so than the second eldest of all the Children. Ansar. Now, with the naivety of youth, Ansar came round to the conclusion that Mother must be wrong. If both Matter and Nothingness were gone then there would be balance because they would have, in effect, cancelled each other out. But with ignorance typical of the young it hadn't occurred to Ansar that if Matter and Nothingness cancelled each other out they would cease to _exist_ along with the balance. The result would be a universe in extremes. If there is no Matter already present, then it would spring randomly into existence through the positive energy of living beings. The same would also occur with Nothingness but because these energies wouldn't be in equal proportions the cycle would be broken and extreme cases of Good and Evil would appear everywhere vying for control.

However this long, convoluted chain of thought hadn't occurred to the Child Ansar and he immediately set his plan into action. The first step was to gather support and this the Child Ansar accomplished with masterful subtlety and subterfuge, the Ancient Ones unaware of dissension. However the Child Ansar was wary of approaching the eldest child Kingu, for the eldest was the most powerful of all the children and the closest one to Mother. It was for this reason that Ansar avoided Kingu and so began the next stage in his plan. In a far distant corner of the swirling galaxies the child Ansar and his playmates watched the gradual spawning of the world Ethra and over myriad millennia, siphoned off the Matter and Nothingness, creating life through evolution. From the Child Ratha came the elemental mages, from the Child Hiron was born the nymphs, dryads, High elves and Drow, from the child Juta was spawned the magical creatures. But it was Ansar who created the final race. Humans. In many other realms of the universe other Children played with their own galaxies and life forms, until the Matter and Nothingness were almost completely gone and from the Children more children were spawned and these became the guardians of Ethra with none so powerful as Raphael, Azrael and Ansu.

The Child Ansar gloried in his triumphant outwitting of Mother Tiamat and Father Azagthoth, for days his fellow playmates celebrated his genius as Ethra and the other realms flourished and prospered. But then a sound so terrible was felt, anguish, loss and heartache resounded through every atom and particle. It was felt to the very core of all galaxies and the epicentre were the ancients; Tiamat, Azagthoth and the eldest child Kingu. The Ancient Mother Tiamat filled with anguish and hurt for what her children had committed, turned on them,

**You have disobeyed my order and are standing at the point of no return, go further down this road and you shall be lost and I will have no choice but to go after you and right the balance**.

However the Child Ansar rebelled and gestured to the prospering Ethra and the other galaxies in the universe. Life flourished and peace reigned and with over half the children behind him used up the last of Matter and Nothingness in front of Mother, and when no fatal calamity occurred the Child Ansar laughed, before being struck down by Tiamat. Getting up the Child glared before disappearing into the folds of Ethra.

From here began the Chaos war; The greatest War the universe has or will ever know as the Ancients and their Children battled fellow Children throughout the galaxy and especially amongst Ethra. Because as humans grew more powerful they began turning on the Magical population and an influx of negative emotions caused Nothingness to spring into being and in a viscous cycle it fed on those negative emotions. Matter was also being created from the goodwill of the Magical population but it soon turned to Nothingness as they fought the humans. It was through these negative emotions that the Annunaki , followers of Tiamat, and the Igigi, followers of Ansar, were able to take control of humans and magical creatures using them as vessels for their own powers. The High Elves fled into their sacred home and sealed off the entrance even to the most powerful of beings although the Drow remained, fighting alongside the Annunaki. For a span of time no longer in existence the Chaos war lasted and the universe was on the brink of an implosion, the extremes of good and evil reigning supreme as from them came creatures not known; demons and winged creatures only a few of the many. It was from these rips in the universe, known as the Nephilim gates, appeared Marduk and while the lovers Raphael and Azrael fought on opposing sides, trapped in the eternal cycle of war, Ansu having long been slain by Kingu, this stranger rose up in front of the council of Igigi:

**I can end this war and slay Tiamat. But at a price.**

The child Ansar sick of war and heartbroken at the destruction of what he had worked so hard to achieve agreed to anything Marduk wanted. The stranger nodded and proceeded to split his energy into fifty separate spirits, and in these fifty spirits he began a systematic elimination of the Ancients' forces. It was in in the epic battle of Ymaldor Marduk sealed away both Tiamat and Azagthoth and hundreds of Annunaki in the abyss of the Nephilim gates, although Kingu had fled into realms never found by Marduk; Azrael, along with other Annunaki only spared by the bargaining of Raphael.

It was in this manner Marduk returned to the Igigi and the remnants of the Annunaki clamouring his price for the end of the Chaos wars.

**For the slaying of Tiamat I shall become your ruler. These are my terms.**

Ansar knowing there was no other option acquiesced and Marduk became ruler of the remaining Children. Ethra was cleansed with a flood that covered the entire world and evolution began again, with the seeds of races planted by Marduk. Raphael and Azrael created the councils of Genesis and Apocalypse to keep balance over all the universe and although the balance was gone, they managed to contain it's effects. Ethra was renamed Earth and life flourished and with the influence of the councils the magical race stayed hidden, and humans once again again gained control. It was at this point in time Azrael and Raphael silently retreated from the councils and merged into the Time-flow awaiting the moment they would reawaken to help restore the balance of Matter and Nothingness although both knew the course to be taken would be rough and complicated. In the confusion of their disappearance the Councils grew farther apart and it became forbidden to associate with members of opposite councils except on business. From this origin the two lovers had begun the route the New Earth would travel to reach Balance and Harmony.

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Please..Please bear with me for the next chapter or two it DOES all make sense..I promise!! '

However if there's no interest in this story I will delete it..So REVIEW!! Review and make my penguin muse happy.

Little note: My wireless has been down since early October Grumbles about BT and hence I'm posting this at school; so posts will be varied Pouts and widens eyes Gomen Nasai.

Sayonara

Karusu Hime


	2. Chapter 1: At the very beginning

Konnichiwa Minna

Righty ho then people, here is the 1st chapter. I originally wasn't going to post it because no-ones reviewed TT Sobs but Since 126 people have bpthered to read I thought why not. And big thankies to the person who put this story on alert! Yay! HUGGLES for you. ( ")

So yeah that's about it. I have about 5 or 6 chapters of this already written out so if you want them REVIEW DAMIIT!

**Disclaimer:** See prologue. Song - Borderline - sung by Bonnou belongs to me! As does the band. So there blows rasberry . Umm the chant I found in the Book of Necromancy. I think that was it. If not someone tell me please.

**Inspiration: **My curse (Killswitch engage), Iris (Goo goo dolls) & Always with me (Spirited away)

**Dedicated:** To my Sounding boards, Loyal friends and fellow writers ApocalypseGenesis. You are my inspiration. Thank you.

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**Chapter 1: At the Very Beginning...**

**6 am: **1st April 1998 London

Rrriiiinnnnggg

_Pale, sweaty hands slowly work their way through the maze of folds and curves, reaching out into the humid air from beneath the nest of duvet._

Rrriiiinnnnggg

_They fumble around, unseeing, on the dark silhouette that is the night stand. One hand brushes against the cool, smooth surface of a glass of water; warm from the heat. The movement causes the glass to rock slightly and the hand freezes, its twin continuing the search. Slowly the glass tips, falling to the carpeted floor before the hand can react. Water rushes across the carpet, soaking into every available space, growing, spreading. A perfect analogy of the human race. _

Rrriiiinn...crash

_A hand, frozen in mid-air, quickly rushes back into the warm safety of the nest, followed almost instantaneously by it's twin; both happy at the completion of their mission. Tentatively, a ray of light pokes its head through a gap in the curtains and slowly stretches, piercing the warm, bundle of duvet you currently reside in. Burrowing down you sigh softly, pulling more of the duvet around you; congratulating yourself at your victory against the intruder. The lone ray of light, however, refuses to let you hide, finding you once again, tickling your face with it's soft warmth. Groaning you disentangle yourself from the duvet, glaring at the ray of light as you do so. _

Too early.

_You start to amble slowly to the door, stopping suddenly as your foot sinks into the wet carpet. Fuck. Ignoring the squelching sounds of your foot, you run a hand through the messy locks of what appears to be your hair...but on the other hand could quite easily pass as a crow's nest. Smoothing out your creased, light blue T-shirt you shuffle into the kitchen and flip on the kettle. _

Thank God for apartments...no stairs cutting off the kitchen...

_Stirring the black coffee gently, you breathe in the rich aroma, letting your eyes slip shut. _

Mmmmmm.

_Sighing you bring the chipped cup to your mouth and sip lovingly, savouring the taste. _

What what I do without you my precious elixir?

_Staring at the now empty mug, you sigh forlornly before placing it in the overflowing sink. _

Dammit. Should really get a housekeeper...or would it be apartment keeper? Ugh whatever.

_Stepping into the shower, you turn it on hissing slightly as the cold water hits your skin. You wait patiently for it to heat up, awakening slowly as the now hot water rains down on you, misting up the shower screen. Running the apple scented shampoo through your hair, your eyes close involuntarily, mind distancing itself from your body, dancing in abstract thoughts. Turning the shower off you step out, drying yourself lightly before heading into your comfortably small, cream coloured bedroom. Opening the mahogany wardrobe, you rummage through the hangers before pulling out a navy blue suit. Smoothing out the creases you yawn, mouth stretching almost painfully._

Far too early

_Grabbing your watch from the night stand, you stare at the time then swear; colourfully. Hurriedly you slip into your shoes and grab your portfolio from its spot by the door. Forgoing breakfast you step out of the apartment and lock the door, quickly hurrying to the elevator. _

Crap. I'm gonna be late

_You stride quickly down the hall, portfolio clutched in hand. Coming to rest in front of the metal doors, you press the 'down' button, left foot tapping impatiently against the carpeted floor. Outfitted in a very tasteless salmon. Fingers pinch the bridge of your nose, as you glance down at the watch for the umpteenth time. Staring at the tacky patterned wallpaper, slightly peeling, a sigh escapes your lips. _

Note to self: Do not break alarm clock.

_'Ping'. Your body jolts and, fingers grab the portfolio before it slips. Raising your eyes irritably, you hurriedly walk through the doors and into the elevator; mumbling a rushed apology to the old woman getting off. Ignoring her mutterings on manners, fingers press against the ground floor button. Doors close and the elevator starts it's downward journey._

Tap tap tap

_Your left foot, once again begins it's tapping, eyebrows creased as you stare at your watch. Swearing inaudibly, your face sets in an angry frown. _

Dammit.

_Suddenly a jolt causes you to look up and angrily cursing about inept machines, you push forward, through the barely opening doors, shoving past a few stragglers, just arriving home from late night binges._

Lucky sods.

_Hurriedly you rush through the doors to your apartment complex and rummage around in your jacket pocket. Pulling out your car keys, you fumble for a minute before unlocking your car, throwing the portfolio in as you slide into the drivers seat. The leather adjusts to the sudden weight and you start the car; pulling the door closed as you step on the accelerator and into the morning rush hour. One hand haphazardly gropes around for the seatbelt, pulling it across your chest. Suddenly you swerve, yelling obscenities at the driver in front of you. _

Stupid bloody drivers.

_Groaning as the traffic comes to a standstill, you angrily switch on the radio. Soon the sound of the international Japanese rock group Bonnou fills your ears, fingers lightly dancing to the music._

**Gazing through the borderline**

**Wonder how I've come this far,**

**The trail of white rabbits,**

**breadcrumbs from the point of no return,**

**A transcendental shooting star.**

_The multicoloured snails, crawl along slowly. Exhaust fumes leaving a slime trail, indistinguishable from the cloudy sky. The sun afraid to poke it's head out once more is in fear of being reprimanded by the much larger clouds. Bullies that they are._

**...Masquerading God, puppeteering life**

**So come on now I can't hear you clap...**

_The snails begin to pick up speed morphing into a stampede and you sigh with audible relief. Swerving round the corner, you face the intersection, grinning almost manically as you slide past the Traffic lights before they change. _

**O, Watch my children as mother flees,**

**running as fast as she can,**

**The clock strikes one**

**In winter, summer, spring and fall**

**for I'm the gingerbread man...**

_People blur together as you drive past, their identities lost among the crowd. Rain spatters the windows, casting the illusion of shattered glass. Grey seeps through the landscape, stalking the streets, unnoticeable in the broken blurs of the crowd. It whispers through the streets, winds through cars..._

Don't be an idiot. Grey as a person? And I thought I'd lost my imagination during puberty.

_You shake your head in contempt.. But you still can't shake the strange feeling of...wrongness._

**...In the forgotten halls of time,**

**Life's heroes silent pawns,**

**On the check board of our Gods...**

_You quickly check your watch, again, frown lines creasing your forehead. Staring around, you will the cars to move forward. Resting your head on the steering wheel, you breathe in and pull back, the frown lines gone._

.**..Cynicism among the young**

**No fairy tales to give for luck**

**We are the new beginning,..**

Come on.

**.So here's your Once upon a time**

**Too bad we fucked it up...**

Hurry up...Lazy fuckers.

**...So clap your hands, the piper calls,**

**in enchanted forests walk..**

**Down past burnt out Drury Lane,**

**Write your name in chalk..**

_Suddenly you feel your car shifting beneath you. Looking around in alarm, you see small cracks spreading over the ground, lengthening, widening, a cavernous monster. The sky is darkening now, the sun abandoning it's domain. You hurriedly climb out of your car, reason fleeing you, replaced with terror; people screaming, running all around you. Buildings collapse like dominoes, scattering the streets with rubble and debris. Anguish reaches your ears, pain, suffering, fear. It's cloaking the streets, allowing it's minions Panic and Confusion to reach out, devouring. You fall back into your car as a crack opens up just in front of you, swallowing up the nearest building, the music still playing,_

**Clap your hands**

**Oh clap your hands**

**Coz I can't hear you clapping...**

_Hurriedly you scramble to the other door. Fumbling with the lock you fling it open, falling out, into the road. You freeze as an unearthly noise fills all your senses, rushing through your blood, pounding in your ears. The screaming stops, replaced by a silence that's deafening in it's chilling glory._

**c****lap your hands**

**oh clap your hands**

**Coz I can' t hear you clapping..**

_You turn around, eyes widening in incomprehension. Masks crowd your vision. Hideous masks..An unnameable emotion grips you, a spectre haunting the streets, remnants of a forgotten evil. The monster lurking in the dark. The troll under the bridge. The wicked old witch in the dark heart of the forest. The fears passed down through stories, become unbelievably real. It fills the head, coursing through the scenery, a tangible force. You never notice the building collapsing to your right, the...the...what is it? keeping you entranced, enchained..._

**Too bad we fucked it up...**

_Then pain. So much pain. Hard to breathe. You gasp. Darkness stealing your vision. Slowly. A scavenger. Waiting...pouncing...consuming...silence._

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**3 am: **4th July 1998: Scotland

_The cold air whips around me, but I barely feel it. I barely feel anything anymore. It wasn't the same. For what seems now, like a moment, I saw the world in a completely different way, a better way. But that's all gone now. It died with _him. _My 'friends' don't...no...that's not right..._can't _understand. To them he was a completely alien being. He didn't conform and for that brief moment neither did I. But now I'm back to_ normal_, according to my 'friends'. Bloody idiots._

_I slowly flick my brush, in one final stroke, before letting it clatter to the floor. Slowly stepping away from the parchment I admire my work, a grim smile forming, creeping along my face. Like the twisted vines around me, slowly choking. I want the sky back. The sun, the Moon. To fly in the heavens. God He was right, I do sound like a sappy romantic girl. I grimace._

_closing my eyes, memories peek around corners and into my line of vision...even all the way down here I can still hear the screaming, the blank eyes..His eyes...The high pitched laughter of Voldemort echoes in my head. I can't stop him...it's too late. Voldemort's unstoppable now... it's taken three months, three long months since he stormed London...three months since..since. I shake my head It's been too long, far too long. But I've found out what the bastard has done and I know he can't be stopped. It may sound fatalistic and the Order still doesn't understand my apathy on the subject, but it's the truth. But although I can't stop him here and now, there is one more chance and Voldemort himself gave me the idea. Dragon used to tell me to think like the enemy and I'm putting his advice to good use. I can stop this. Fix it. Go back. _

_I study the symbol closely making sure it's perfect. A large circle fills the yellowing parchment and inside it...inside it is my only chance; a curving line with a small, horizontal brush-stroke at the end and a delicate oval sprouting form the base. It reminds me of an abstract flower, alive for but a short few months before gently withering away. A quick look at the small birthmark on my wrist reinforces my conviction._

_I cast a quick Tempus charm and my eyes close briefly as I realise it's now precisely 3:00 am. It's now or never. Crouching down I place the parchment carefully in front of me on the hard, cobbled floor of the dungeons and folding my legs underneath me, stare contemplatively at the symbol. My mind slowly empties of every thought except one._

_"Take me back. I need to go back." _

_A warm feeling spreads through me - it's time. Focusing intently on the symbol I take in three long deep breaths, my eyes raising to the ceiling. Slowly I begin chanting,_

_**Zi Kia Kanpa,**_

_**Zi Anna Kanpa,**_

_**Zi Dingir Kanpa,**_

_**Zi Dingir Anna Kanpa,**_

_**Here me o thou Marduk,**_

_**Come to me by the powers of the word Dugga,**_

_**And answer my urgent prayer,**_

_**Zi Kia Kanpa,**_

_**Zi Anna Kanpa,**_

_My eyes lower slowly back to the seal and I concentrate on my goal, picturing the scene in my head, where it all started. The beginning. The wind picks up speed, swirling around me. _Keep concentrating. _Warmth floods me before sudden chills rack my body. _Keep concentrating..._The beginning_. Concentrate_. I ignore the swirling vortex around me, disregard the parchments and text books flying around erratically. Raising my eyes, I raise my voice louder, concentration slowly ebbing,_

_**Zi Dingir Kanpa,**_

_The wind picks up speed howling slightly,_

_**Zi Dingir Anna Kanpa,**_

_Books fly past me, ink splatters the walls,_

_**Spirit of the earth remember,**_

I_ vaguely hear the heavy wooden door to the room creak open and my voice rises to a crescendo. I _have_ to do this. _

_**Spirit of the sky REMEMBER!**_

_Have you ever heard the phrase "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all" ? I never...fully understood it. And I do now. I know. I know that my life was better with him in it and this is what separates me from them. I know what's out there and...I can't...I can't go back. I won't. _

_Someone's calling me, yelling. But to be honest I don't care. The world spins around me. It's working. I did it. Colours blur and my mind slowly fades... _

"_Harry!"_

_I think I'm laughing..._

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I quite liked how this turned out. XD

It's a crime to read and not review on Review and get free huggles. Am I starting to sound desperate enough yet?

Sayonara

Karusu-hime


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